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chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

stewna:

idk I sketched this last night. kids looking serious & crossing their arms

(Source: larvitarr)

"WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE’RE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF"

(Source: witcheswearcombatboots)

thegoldenageof-grotesque:

criysto:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb. 

I reblogged this laughing cause I thought I could relate but I forgot for a second that I was a twin

aquaquinn:

I was able to fit the whole thing into one gif! 

aquaquinn:

I was able to fit the whole thing into one gif! 

deanprincesster:

BYE

deanprincesster:

BYE

(Source: red-lipstick)

(Source: paznativa)

(Source: loserpirate)

melkior:

send hELP

shslsubmissivemasochist:

canweumqra:

I have not received a dress based of my tumblr.

I have not received my pin pal.

I have not received my character based off my blog.

I have not received a picture of the book or the wall you wrote my URL on.

I HAVE been lied to.

image

I never even got that “doot doot”

tectonicvixen:

*squeak*

frenchdad:

this dude a grand theft auto npc

frenchdad:

this dude a grand theft auto npc

ezrabird:

why do people tag food as porn…..u gonna jack it to some cauliflower?? are u a cauliflower fucker???

(Source: justinyoung2)